a little fence of alphabet...

He realises that writing for the public is very different from writing for himself; there are always things that he wants to say when he writes in private that he will never want to show to his readers. And this affects his writing significantly; they do not always reflect exactly what he wants to say, which is really the point - he hopes to protect himself when he is writing for the public, it doesn't matter if they do not get to read the truth in his heart. He finds it easier, yes, much easier, to publish like this. Perhaps that is why academia is a feasible option to him: it allows him to write in a seemingly objective, detached manner which conceals, rather than reveals, the very things on his heart. He knows the contradiction of publishing his own creative works, that it essentially brings about the evaporation of his privacy, the very thing he tries so hard to protect his whole life.